Yesterday I wrote a few trite ass lines and attempted to call it a poem. I thought of the poem all day and I realized that I haven't written anything that stale in a while. The subject matter is also something that amazed me but it is also something that I don't have much experience in. I realized that this isn't going to be a poem I write in a week, but a work in progress. If this thing I'm writting can still amaze me as I learn more about it then I foresee a great master piece in the making. Well that might be a little stretch but I am excited about this project, because it was something that really stunned me and made me want to write.
Besides that, this is an open cry for help to all my peeps and friends and anything else you guys want to call yourselves. I am in desperate need of writing excersises. Please send me something because my hand has been hovering an epmty notebook for some time now. It starts to feel creepy and nasty. I had a few thoughts a few weeks ago when I hit a rock bottom of sorts but I didn't feel like writting the same old sad story poem. I don't want to become a cliche of myself. I need new juice. I am getting to that place where I question myself as a writter and it is a bit of torture. Self inflicted of course. I guess these are the perils of penelope pitstop.
It's funny but when I was a kid I always thought it was the pearls. I always wondered why she and her small people didn't ever find any damn pearls.

Anyway I need to go to workshops, and be opened to different styles and read more poetry. One thing that doesn't help is that I've been reading too much fiction which isn't bad but kinda occupies my writting time. Or maybe I am basing that on what a friend said happened to her. I know I have written while reading novels, so maybe I am just trying to make excuses for myself.

This always happens for a while and then something comes out. Something I can be proud of. This has happened more and more as I became more critical with myself. I wonder if it is because I don't consider just anything a done poem anymore. I mean I start writting something and if I feel it isn't up to par I stop writting it or become frustrated with it. This refers to architecture as well as subject matter.

I have a few newish poems that still need working on so I guess it isn't a complete waste. A few poems to memorize and a few poems that need the month after super editing session. This is when I detach myself from it and can look at it with a more critical eye as opossed to the emotional eye that writes it.

I also have old projects that are on the old to do list. I guess now is a better time than any. It is getting to them that becomes a mission. The getting myself motivated and started. The good thing is that I shut off all the cable channels from my TV so I will be a lot more motivated when I realize that I have a lot less options on programs to watch. TV has always been a major distractions, so maybe I can finally learn how to be productive in my own home. I was going to attempt to go completely TVless but I don't think I am ready for that one yet. Channels 2 through 11 will have to do for now. I believe it will be enough to make some kind of change. It took me a while and self convincing to get me to pick up the phone and call them to do it. I am glad that it is done. Some type of milestone.