I am not even going to begin to write about how depressed I was at work this weekend. I will talk about the spaces outside of work.
Saturday night as I left the building Jay was waiting for me with a car service that took us to suburban ass Queens. The night was quiet, our faces were those of frozen gargoyle, and we were ready for the battle. Texas Hold'em.
Five people, Straight Jack Daniels, and a wonderful Cigar and I was set to bring down house.
First hand I get two 8's in my hand and I start raising stakes and betting high. Since nobody there has played with me they bet with me to try and feel me out. See what I am about and shit. That's cool, I only have 2 cards to go with and it can go either way. The flop is drawn and it reveals two more 8's. Wow I have a four of a kind out of the flop. I don't even have to worry about the turn and the river, it is all there. I keep betting high. Bet high after the turn and after the river, and thanks to other people that thought I was doing a first hand bluff, they came after me and kept raising which only bought a smile to the inside of my face. Outside face was still like a gargoyle. So one guy pulled out three kings out of a shit crumb, and thought he was going to win. So I say that I have Two pair, yeah two pair of eight. The rest of night had ups and downs, in the chip pile, but most of all I had fun. A super amount of fun and in the course of the night I had a full house, another 4 of a kind, a flush, and a few two pair that won me some hands. Not to mention that I bluffed like a mother. I had fun. I ended up under $9.25, so that isn't too bad considering that I went in with the fear that I would have to buy more chips after my original $20 dollars, but I stayed strong. It was a friendly game, where the maximum raise or bet was 50 cents. They told me that their last game got a bit out of control where people had to write checks for the pot at one point, so I am pretty glad that they adjusted their rules to maintain a good game where nobody would have to go home in their underwear. I am glad cause I had on boxer briefs and my cute ass would've frozen, producing asscycles. Not a nice image huh?
Well that was my Saturday night.

Let me close by saying that a hard hard hard day of work on Sunday, had the same Saving guarantee that Marisol would come through in a big way. Wow dude, I was like cono mami that is some good ass food. And the her cooking was good too. No that was a silly joke, but let me clarify by saying that she made some of the best roasted pollo (chicken) that I have ever had. The seasoning, the color, the flavor wow. Then some butter mash potatoes to top it. I was liking fingers, and all. I actually ate too much because it was so damn good and so so much, that I ended up with a small tummy irritation that went away within the hour. Not to mention the fact that she had a million Tums waiting for me. She is so so thoughtful. She looked up all the stuff that can help for acid reflux and she is helping me very very much, even though I am resisting some things. Made me feel very special. Wow and shit. I don't know, I guess that is what love is right? Fuck a definition, this is love.

I have had a problem with definitions to the word love for a long time, and I may have blogged about this before, but one person that showed me that the meaning of love is infinitesimal was Jane LeCroy. That was a beautiful thing. To love is to know that you love. That’s all. Can it be that simple, without people saying that it must be more. We are very much alike, but we all are very different. Love can't really be defined because it means something different to each of us. Even though we all see it the same. Do we really know if we see things the same? We have never seen through someone else's eyes. What is red to me might be a different combination of colors to someone else. We would still call it red because it is what we were taught to recognize it as. So we all see the same thing, know it by the same name, but it might be different to all of us with out our knowledge. That is a crazy theory that I don't really believe in but it is one that has occupied my head for years. What it has done is made me aware that others may not see other things the way I do, so I must explore every possibility, every view, every angle, and know that I must be sensitive to others views before I judge or make a decision. This has proved to be very helpful at times. Walk a mile in another’s shoe type of thing.
I feel that the biggest misunderstandings can be created online. I am not against the Internet but sometimes an online conversation can disable your knowledge of a person's intention when they type a certain thing. This just stipulates the importance of the human voice and body language. The Internet can connect people that otherwise might not be connected but we should just have more patience when chatting with people and ask any question about anything that we may have.
Okay how the fuck did I ramble my way into this subject?
I am a confused sonavabitch, aint I?

My mind is a trip.
Enough with this banter.