On monday someone who heard my suicide poem told me that they didn't think suicide was an important topic.

This is my response.



"Suicide isn't such an important topic.
There are many more important Issues worth writing about"

When I heard those words I stood flabbergasted
She must be the only person that has never toyed with the idea of control

The best way to control life is to end it.

Couldn't control your beginning,
Tomorrow is ultimately out of your hands
Unless...
...Tomorrow never comes.

It wont exist of you are not around to live it,
If you, don't exist

Millions figure out the easy button
One way ticket to control
Take destiny into your palms

Squeeze until you only have seeds,
Then grind and make destiny saw dust

Millions have.

And you tell me that it isn't an important topic

When shrinks prescribe drugs. To create addicts?
When withdrawal whiplash leads to insanity.

Wife of millionaire grabs destiny, control
Plunges it into icy East River

All she left behind were three letters, an eighteen year old daughter,
A best friend, A husband, a congregation, lifetime of legacy
She escaped, took control
Everyone thought she looked so happy
Seemed so full of joy.

Don't I seem the same way

My Second grade teacher pulled the curtain chord away from my neck

Sixth grade latch key attendant removed my hand from broken window
Shards of glass from my smile

Age sixteen an assistant principle sent me home
Mistaking a Prozac high for Heroin
Same difference

At 17 I discovered that Zoloft could only make me sleep
No matter how hard I tried to O.D.

And she had the nerve to tell me that suicide wasn't an important issue?
Unworthy of a poem?
Unworthy of a stage?

I should've told her
I still spend hours in the dark with Highlander replica sword

Sharp stainless steel against my throat
Tears running from yes to cheek
Down 15 inches of blade,
Jumping handle,
Setting my fingers on fire.

Each night I leave destiny alone.
I'm still too afraid to take control
So I manifest it
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