The Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

I mus've touched this subject before, but I don't care. I know I've walked it in the past, and I have taken many walks on said street. So walking is one of my favorite things for some strange reason. Today my legs were killing me. My thighs. I've felt this pain in the past but I don't know what it really is. I think it might be arthritis but I aint no damn doctor. Anyway I walked today listening to the Green Day Album. One of my Christmas gifts. That CD is truly treasured. Many of the songs have a feeling of loneliness. Many different aspects of it but still alone. It goes from a single person being alone to a group of outcasts being alone. Kinda like the Blue States. Anyway it really connects with me. In the core most of my work has been focused on loneliness. The truth of the matter is most of everything has been revolving on that. Platform Plea is if nothing a scream to solitude. The main song that rings in my head is The Boulevard of Broken Dreams. I have felt the shadows as my only companions on many levels at many times and it really touches me in weird ways. When I was about 17 years old or so I played pool regularly with a group of friends at Macoombs Billiard at 170th and Jerome. We always got the table in the corner of the establishment. Hanging on the wall towering over the table was The Helwein painting of The Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Between turns I would get lost inside of the painting, and I really fell in love with it. I remember constantly bothering the manager to sell it to me. I own it now even though I've never gotten it framed. The name of the painting always moved in my head, and I've used it many times. The guestbook on my MG page carries the same name. The thing about the Green Day song is that I wish I would have written it first. Or something like it. But it works, the song really does. It brings back feelings of loneliness and the weird things that come with it. I dream about it, write about it, and even see it where others don't. The loneliness I mean. Anyway it is a funny feeling that I don't always try to escape anymore. I guess I've learned to embrace it no matter how much I hate it. It doesn't make sense but neither do I. Quite puzzling isn't it? Well to me at least. But it is what it is. The song is dope, the painting is dope, and the name is just brilliant.

I am so so tired. So far this day has been horrid.

Oscar you freaking rock. You always come through when the clock is moving faster than time and ten days become ten minutes. Crunch time is right, and you crunch harder than Nestles.

Music is so therapeutic. Hard, soft, slow, fast, when I need it, I never get dissapointed.

I need some right now. Getting yelled at for stuff that isn't my fault is really bad, very very bad. It just happened as I was writing this damn post. Ms. La Viale Take your tacky ass back to the Hamptons. Don't take out your damn mood on me, I have enough to worry about. Enough bullshit to go through so you can just project your damn anger some other place.
Fuckit, day please end...