3AM is no time to be awake. Maybe that is only true when you have to wake up early. Yup that's it. So I couldn't sleep for the life of me, and I ended up watching a movie that was bad. I knew the movie was bad when I went into it but I was very curious about it. Plus I was also bored out of my mind. My mind works too quick sometimes and racing thoughts don't allow me to sleep. When the alarm went off this morning I woke up in total shock and ran too the bathroom like if there was some great prize waiting for me inside of the shower head. I felt so punch drunk and I went for the big espresso. Something I haven't done in a long time but I needed it. I needed it like I needed a cigarette last night. A cigarette that I didn't find. There are no close loosie spots near my house, and I was hoping a pedestrian would sell me a cigarette. I was willing to pay up to $2. How pathetic! I hate that feeling and I wish I could banish it once again. I did without the cigarette but I ruined a perfectly good cigar just to take a few puffs. That felt even worst than the actual feeling. I need to fix up my humidor but that is on my big, "I wish" list. Nothing that will be put together anytime soon but it's good to wish, it is actually fun to wish, but wishing gets depressing at times too. I have been kinda, sorta, pretty depressed as of late. Not such a great feeling. It doesn't overcome me or anything like that, but it creeps up on my when I least want it or expect it. I guess I don't ever really expect it. This Saturday is the Purple Rain party. Oscars doing, and a great idea at that, but I am only the venue for this party. It sounds like fun, and I will arrive right after work. Hope I have sufficient energy for the shing dig. If not I always manage to find it, where none exist. This time will not be any different. A good old time right?

Lothargic as hell. Pensive even. Can I be both? Oh well I am and that is that.
My mind serves as some prision. Only space for one, and yet there is still way too much noise in there.