I am short today. I am realizing that my love for humanity is becoming less apparent to myself. People are really starting to get on my nerves. My tolerance for bullshit is diminishing. I love me, what I am about, and what I do when I do what I do. I can't adjust myself to my surroundings, but I can adjust my surroundings to me. Or maybe just change it completely. Who cares though. Someone is always going to not like something for some reason and all I can do is say OK.

Yesterday's Fundraiser sucked ass. Sure the fund got their money but I wasn't happy at all. I don't know, people just pissed me off. They didn't do anything to piss me off but they just did. I hate this current mood, it bothers me. I hate feeling like this. I still did some key networking yesterday, but people aren't taking as serious as I would like them to. If you think you know why fuck off please. Just because you see me a lot doesn't mean you know every side of me. Try to take a 360 degree tour of me before you make your final judgement. I must also learn to do the same.

In many people's eyes I lack the Age, Color, and suits needed to be professional. They are wrong, and being the underdog does mean working harder. I aint got no problem with that.
My entire life has been about me having to do more, to prove shit to myself. That is who I really want to please at the end of the day. If I did something and someone else hated it, my opinion is still the strongest.

Pride is something I need more of. I will learn quickly.

I am not happy, Or sad. I have this feeling from chest to stomach, that kind of vibrates and gets warm. Sometimes it sends jolts to my head attempting to break my face. I hate this feeling, I hate this shit.

I don't know what to want or to ask for.

On a different note Geoff Trenchard is going to be at Urbana on the 30th. That is a show that I don't want to miss. Geoff is awesome. I had lots of fun with him at NATS and I am anticipating seeing him again at his feature. I saw him slam a few times, but I have never seen him feature. He gave me his chapbook and a CD of the Suicide kings. I read most of the Chap Book but haven't heard the CD yet. It becomes really hard for me to listen to Poet CD's. I never have the level of concentration needed for it. Oh well.

That's it.