Riding the train

If there is one feeling that I have written about, be it on the blog or in the poetry, it is riding the train. The feeling of riding the train home after whatever. The empty feeling. The loneliness. It was always enhanced when I saw couples. Well when they apeared to be happy. It didn't bother me so much when they would be arguing. Anway the point is that I have had a few rides home with Mari, and the feeling is totall 180. Yeah as she pointed out to me 360 would be returning to its original state, where as 180 is opposite. I have noticed people looking with wide eyes. Watching us kiss, watching us speak, or just watching us be still, her on my shoulder and me just in peace. I domnt know what it all means exactly but I can say that when I am with her I am happy. I don't care much about much, and I don't feel alone. This is all new, we are new. We are not even we yet but whatever we are it feels great. I don't need an explenation at the moment. We don't have any commitments to eachother yet, but I feel great when I am with her. It does scare me a little. Yes feeling great is scarry when you have crashed from this feeling a few times, but I don't care. If this is just a high, that I will someda crash from, let me enjo it while I am high. Don't fuck up my high goddamit. I say this more to mself than the outside world. Forget the past, any past, its all circumstancial. It means nothing compared to the big picture. And that picture is m feelings. I don't know how long it will last but I know that I will enjoy every second of it while it is around. Why question happiness?
In life there is no up that will stay up, so we take what we get and hold it for a minute. Live it and love it. That's all.

It will never be enough.
Too much is not enough.