It's all about sacrifice. Right? I don't have a clue. I am lost right now. I am in a place in my mind and I want to get out. I missed the Spicnic, I missed every Saturday afternoon during the preliminary summer. I am not happy with my current work situation. I am so tired of working weekends. Before it was a consolation when my social life was nothing more than a myth, but now it's just getting on my damn nerve. I now have what many may call a healthy or advent social life. There is always something going on, and I have a girlfriend. I don't ever want to neglect her, or myself. I wake up weekend mornings feeling a few hundred pounds overweight, and the thought of getting on a train, to go do a job that doesn't make me happy, for a few extra bucks a year, really pisses me off.
I will have to think of a hustle quick to compensate with this or I will go crazy. I'd rather work a few extra hours after work, than do seven straight days with little hope for rest. Today after all this, the super explodes and fucks up the rest of my night. I mean dude, really is all that necessary? It's all about petty shit too, nothing that really bothers anyone. The bastard yells at me in the lobby too. He sucks as a super, and as a supervisor. If I had my boiler licenses and a little more experience I could totally do his job. Now I don't want to be a super, but had I wanted it I would have pursued it a long time ago. I am the son of a super-man.So the real dilemma is do I leave my current place of employment and seek a day job that allows me to live comfortably without a weekend job? Do I just adjust my life style to lower standards and learn to live with less luxury? Or do I just keep on working seven days a week? I often feel that the weekend job is taking so much of my poetry away from me. It is not allowing me to fully throw myself into my work. And let's not even mention school. Without a weekend job I could finish school a lot faster, but would I be even able to afford it?

Sword, meet the wall, and allow me to slip away from in between you guys.

This morning as I was leaving Mari's house, all I could think about is how much it must suck to be with someone who you can do shit with. I mean how could I even go to the beach? I am going to have to go away again in the fall or I'll go crazy. Maybe I'll wait till Jan. Who knows, but I much rather travel in winter than in the summer. I mean, really why escape the heat? I'd much rather get away from below freezing point temperature, and blizzards, than a little humidity or a heat wave.

My only consolation remains the park but I didn't go this weekend. That was my lazy fault, and I know that I would have been a lot more mellowed out if I would have gone to the damn park.

Mierda this shit really sucks ass with shit crumbs.

If anybody reading this would like to see my resume, just shout. I really should have endured whatever BS I was going through at the time, and gone straight to college instead of moving out early. I am who I am because of that, but it still remains as regret. No use crying over spilled milk right? But I do cry when I spill Remy Martin. Either that or I get a straw and try to salvage as much as possible.

Enough...
It really is enough!