Tobacco and rum, what a combination. Wow. It was better said by Mr.
Villalona in my native tongue. Tabaco y Ron. La contra para la
algria.
Now that I am an independent man once again, and I am receiving higher
education, I can't partake in these pleasure-inducing vices any longer. Well I
can but just with more moderation.
Today I was sent to the department of finance to pay real estate taxes,
as is the custom at the end of every quarter. I stopped at Davidoff for
a free cigarillo (pronounced in English, not the Spanish ll rule) and
java. Because of playing catch-up with bills, paying off school, and
miss management of funds, I have been completely broke for the past two
days. I have stupidly grown addicted to Starbucks, since I started
working in midtown. Unable to indulge my vice I have been dead for the
past two days. I have been hustling second rate coffee ever since. Not
really second rate, but when you are used to espresso, drip coffee
resembles water. And it really does.
Anyway on my mission for coffee I went to the nearest place where I
could get Java for nothing. While in the cigar shop I began to speak
about my beginnings with them. A young kid smoking bullshit flavored
mini cigars thinking it was cute. In those days the staff of the shop
took me under their wing, and taught me the art of the cigar. They
invited me to a number of events and parties where I drank and smoked
$20 cigars for free. I of course had less responsibility, so I would
also buy cigars all the time, but the amount of free stuff always
overpowered money spent. I loved top go to cigar lounges and street
cafes that allowed smoking, with a huge Zion platinum stout. It was how
I unwound after stressful days. Hell I also did it for the pleasure of
it.
Well these memories just showed me how broke I really am. I have to
come to grips with the fact that I don't have the luxuries that I had in
those days. I have a lot more expenses now. I have to live
accordingly. But I don't want to. I know it will be a long time before
I am this broke again, because I finally caught up with bills that were
neglected during my birthday. And tomorrow is the much-awaited payday.

The refund should be coming in soon and I will probably use it for a
much-desired vacation. Now here I am again thinking that I am "big
willy". As I was looking through possible destinations, I only inquired
about 4 star hotels. Now what kinda whacked shit is that. While I was
dating my double X girlfriend (a certain Bronx politicians daughter) I
certainly got myself used to the perks of it. That was the last time I
went on vacation, and I stayed in an amazing hotel in southbeach, and
enjoyed the best room service and poolside waiters galore. It was
incredible and it wasn't my tab. I must realize that I am paying this
time. It’s not that serious. I can stay in a broom closet and enjoy a
good get away. Can't I? It's the same with everything I do. I don't
ask for manhattans, I ask for maker's mark manhattans. I don't buy 6
dollar cigars, which are already expensive as it is, I insist on smoking
the good shit. I am no Tony Soprano and I must make myself aware of
that. But all of the above has been cut down. My biggest problem is
other people. I love treating, I love going to nice restaurants, I love
buying gifts, I love seeing shows and plays and such. Even though I
don't do these things as much as I wish, I still do torment myself with
them. And this I wont stop. I will not stop being who I am. Damn
that's the hard part to realize. And all who read this, please don't
try to refuse things from me now just because I wrote this. And you
know whom I am talking about. You have told me that I had to stop
spending like this before and I told you that I enjoy it. And besides
that I always make ends meet. I always get by. I have a talent for
that. I can get free coffee, from different places. I don't take
advantage of any of my outlets. In exchange for a bi-weekly 12 pack of
corona, the guys at the deli by my job (lite bites) will always give me,
low priced to free food. Hell they put my money back in my bag when I
try to pay. I also get them a few bottles of Johnny W during the
holidays. I treat them good and they return the favor. I always have
somewhere to eat, I always have staples, and whenever I want a smoke the
cats at the cigar shop will always supply me with smokes. Hell the
cigarillos (same as before) that you everyone sees me smoke, have never
cost me a cent. They are all free samples. And then there are the days
that I go out without money, something that I try not to do. I still
owe a huge thanks to Guy for dinner on Saturday. I was ready to go home
and be bored, but he made sure that I went to dinner with everyone
else. I was about to have a cappuccino and a muffin, but he made sure
that I ate dinner like everyone else. Wow. Dude please allow me to get
you dinner and a drink or two on Saturday. If not a pizza at the next
acentos. And you know you eat them up like the rest of us.


Well I just needed that to get out of my head.
A few other things:
I miss techno/tribal/trance clubs. If anyone is willing to go to a club
with me one night, play with some glow sticks and stay ex-free, please
let me know. Even if just for a few hours. I love twirling sticks in
front of e-tarts, and making them stuck on stupid. It's funny. I miss
having hard bass with, congo drums, and electronic synthesizers beat at
my head and make me feel as if I am the only person in the club, until I
open my eyes and let all the other noise in. Anyway I want to do it
again. See the things that girls open you up to and take with them
after break ups. Well not this time!!!!


I need to go to the movies more often. I am missing too many things
that I really want to see.
I also have to go to more movies by myself. I love the indie theater on
Broadway and 62nd. On a mid-week night, a movie by myself helps me
reflect and enjoy time with myself. It's just about me. Dinner alone
is cool too.


I have a few birthdays coming up in April. Gotta spend mo money. Owe
and I have a baby to buy stuff for. Anybody up for shopping with me
please let me know. I am a great shopper.


Oscar, Diane, someone, please help me fix up this page. I want to put
links and shit. And a picture won't be a bad idea either. Oscar and
Diane please don't make my letters tiny like yours.

I can't think of anything else. Tomorrow is Friday, and I don't have
anything on my agenda. Someone invite me to something.

Damn it I just realized that March had too many Tuesdays. One extra
week without acentos. Coñazo. Gotta do something. What will I do that
Tuesday? Aww damn. Well maybe our great hosts just might need one extra
week to relax now and then. And when it does come back it always comes
back with a vengeance. Reminds me of the time when I got all ready to
read a poem, invited some people to see me, and realized that it is not
every other Tuesday. My life is full of revelations.

Okay seems that right after I took my attention away from this post for
one minute I found something to do. Seems that time out New York has an
advance-screening pass for "the whole ten yards" on that Tuesday. Well
that kills two birds with one stone. The extra Tuesday issue, and the
movie issue. And the first movie was hilarious. I hope the sequel
lives up to its potential. It is first come first serve so I will have
to be outside of the theater by 5:30 - 6 o'clock. Its good for two so
please be my guest. If you don't have a pass my rules are the same,
first come first serve. Hey I just saw another ad for another movie the
very next day. "The girl next door". Don't know if I want to see
that. Plus it’s first Wednesday at the ox.

Oh well. This is me leaving.