Cliches. I think i watch way too much t.v. Or at least I have watched way too much t.v. in my life. I use cliches without taking notice. Without realization. I have no new imagination i guess. No power to juice up new ideas and reactions, to make my work great. I wont stop trying but how do I change my way of thought. I have too many lines in songs, scenes in movies, and sitcoms engraved in my head. I have noticed that i can compare just about any moment to one of these forms of media. Oh and books too. I have read too. So is it that i am taking these interesting lives and applying them to my boring one. Well i don't know if it is boring, but what do i have on my own. Friends? The truth is that there aren't too many who i can consider to be my friends. I would like to think differently but i must be honest with myself. It might sound like a lot of shit but whenever i have really needed some type of friend for help, for some type of support, just to be there, something happens. I know that i can be annoying, and i apologize to those i annoy but, this is me. Take me or leave me. My annoying self is also very truthful, and i try to be helpful. When my life is consumed with work, school, and nothing, i still want to help everyone else.

Maybe i am just frustrated. Or maybe i just hate being overlooked. Maybe i have programmed myself to think that i am outcaste, so i put up a wall, to avoid getting hurt. But probably i just try to damn hard.